Wow still fucking hurts

It's been 11 years since my Step-dad died. He raised me since I was 2 years old and died when I was 18. And yet when I think of him I still cry like a little kid. There's a particular song that just breaks me. Despite that everything that happened between us when you die you pay for what you did. And for me I've forgiven him and now just mourn him. I mourn the good times, all the holidays, birthdays, weekends, funny, embarrassing, angry moments I got to share with him.

Wonder how things would be different if he were still around.