So I don't like the food and hospitality industry. Thank God I found that out before I forked over 50k to become a chef. I was seriously considering going to cooking school a few months back. But to be honest I can't deal with customers. I come from a security/law enforcement background. I intimidate people. Having to smile at assholes is like shooting myself in the leg. I don't do it too well. The only reason I'm doing this at all is because my mom begged me to help her open up a little cafe. To be honest I don't think I'd have too many customers if I were to truly run the place. Every time one of these pricks is rude or gives me attitude I'd like to shove my size 11 tactical boot up their ass. Not to mention I know a lot of them talk down to me because they're Hispanic males who I knoooooow must love the fact that I'm gay, butch and ALWAYS speak English first. Listen I know it's un-p.c. but my philosophy is that we are in America, you work here, LEARN ENGLISH. Which is another theory my gf is correct in. Why are Hispanics the only people that expect YOU to know their language. Haitians don't, Asians don't, Greeks don't, etc...
I'm making less money than I was yet I work more days and hours. I'm tired all the time and I'm starting to see that my body is slowly starting to break down. Which is why I'm taking a little mini vacation in December. Back to my NYC. I think it'll do me good to go back home.
I'm reading S. Bear Bergman's Butch is a Noun. It's interesting. But at the same time very complicated. Sometimes I feel like other butches are so complex compared to me. Then I think maybe we just don't have the same interests. I mean maybe at this stage in my life I don't need to sit and think about why it is that I'm butch nor do I feel the need to label my gender. Not that I think gays who want to be identified with gender neutral pronouns are bad or anything but it's just not for me. I'm just a female identifying butch who still loves to wear NY Yankees baseball caps. Still it's a fascinating read lol.
